Tulsa Herald Star    

November 26, 2007

                             INTERVIEW WITH A BITCH

By Lola Peabody

Lola -  Hello, it’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve been a big fan of yours for a long time.

Clara - Really? A fan of what, my award-winning cross-stitch? This is my first book.

Lola  -  Well, I’m sure I will be a fan of yours for a long time.

Clara -  I doubt that. Read the book first.

Lola  -  Let’s move on. What is your inspiration?

Clara  -  The children of America.

Lola  -  Really? How so?

Clara  -  They are the wind beneath my wings.

Lola  -  Where do you get your ideas?

Clara  -  From underneath my mattress.

Lola  -  Do you have any advice for aspiring writers?

Clara  -  You’ll never make it. Quit now before your soul dies.

Lola  -  For all those who haven’t read it, can you tell us what your book is about?

Clara  -  No, I’ll need to read it.

Lola  -  Didn’t you write it?

Clara  -  Reading and writing are two very different things, missy.

Lola  -  As I understand it, your book is a lesbian murder mystery that takes place in your hometown of Tulsa and it includes historical components involving the 1921 race riots.

Clara  -  Don’t  try to impress me. You bought the book; that’s the important thing.

Lola  -  Your main character is a black woman. You are not black.

Clara  -  Who says I’m not, sucka?

Lola  -  Did you find any particular difficulties writing about a culture to which you do not belong?

Clara  -  I also play the part of a straight woman every day and that’s no problem.

Lola  -  You are straight?

Clara  -  No, I’m naturally curly.

Lola  -  What is your favorite part of Femme Noir?

Clara  -  The disclaimer. That gets right to the point.

Lola  -  Have you read the book reviews?

Clara  -  Nope. Praise and criticism come from the same root, so I don’t listen to either one.

Lola  -  What about people who read the book and might want to share their views with you?

Clara  -  Believe it or not, readers’ opinions are not gifts I’m hoping to receive.

Lola  -  What other projects are you working on?

Clara  -  I’m building a boat in my driveway.

Lola  -  Are you writing anything else?

Clara  -  No, writing is real hard. I would rather watch tv.

Lola  -  So where can people buy Femme Noir?

Clara  -  Hell if I know.

Lola  -  Any advice for the children of America?

Clara  -  All  worthwhile things in life take effort. If it were easy, everyone would do it.

Lola  -  Thank you for your time, Clara. I wish you all the best.

Clara  -  Same to you.